2026-07-09 E51 Your Self-Hatred Is Just Love in Disguise

Michael: Two weeks later Later.

This is the longest gap we've had in our,

our podcast.

I think we're gonna be caught up now

Audree: Since we, since we started, huh?

Michael: Yeah.

It's been quite a ride.

Audree: Mm.

It feels longer than two
weeks, that's for sure.

I was getting a little worried 'cause
I kept asking if you wanted to do

a podcast, and you're like, "No."

So…

And I was like, "But
there's so much going on.

We'll forget."

Michael: Yeah, I think the rule
for me is always wait for, like,

some moment of inspiration.

Audree: Mm-hmm, yeah.

Michael: And even though it's kinda
like, oh yeah, we kinda have to get

one done in the next day or two, or we
miss our schedule, and I'm like, okay,

well, I don't care about the schedule.

It's like, it's more about the
inspiration and being true to-

Audree: That's why I didn't press you-

the spirit.

Michael: Yeah

… Audree: to do, to do anything, 'cause I
knew that when we did, when we were ready,

we'll be ready, and that's more exciting.

Michael: Mm.

Audree: And so now we're ready

Where do we begin?

To just begin right where we are

Michael: Yeah

Where else can you begin?

Audree: I guess.

So I'll tell my story.

Michael: Sure.

Audree: It's very exciting, you guys.

I woke up this morning, early in
the morning, and, uh, I didn't

even open my eyes 'cause…

Or maybe I did 'cause I knew it was early.

I could see the- … how the sun
was hitting the wall in the bedroom

And, uh, I spontaneously
said, "I love you, Audrey."

But it was like an internal voice.

It was my voice

And it was just a happening

And at the same time, I was like
in an awareness of surprise.

I was like, "Wait a minute,
I've never said that to myself."

Not only that, but the sense, the feeling
that I had was really just beautiful.

It was so … It was pure and real.

Like, there was … Like,
there were no doubts.

It's just-

Michael: It was the
words plus the frequency.

Audree: Yeah

But it wasn't like the frequency
was something extraordinary.

It was just

True

And then I realized, I was
like, "Wow, I don't think I've

ever said this to myself."

Not like this.

You know, we say, "Oh, yeah, I
love myself," or, you know, the

mind makes up the story, you know?

This wasn't that, and it was spontaneous,
and it was, like, right upon awakening,

so there was no mind thinking about it.

It was just a happening

Michael: Hmm.

Audree: And so I just kept doing it.

And

I was like, "I love you.

I love you, Audrey"

And then just feeling

And at some point I just must have fallen
back asleep, 'cause then I had this dream.

And the only part that I remember
about the dream was that I

was going to my graduation and

Um, I was the president
of my class, and the…

I was explaining to somebody that
the school was-- looked like it

was, like, in an old mansion.

But when I got there, it
really looked like an old…

Like, the auditorium was huge.

It was all, like, mahogany,
beautifully carved wood.

Huge, like a cathedral almost.

So bigger than a mansion,
like, more like a castle.

And I remember it was l- I
had this sense or feeling that

it was kinda like Hogwarts.

And I realized that I, I didn't--
the class didn't have a, um…

Usually, the class presents
a gift to the school.

And so suddenly I had a, a painting,
a small painting from my house,

my room or something, my house.

And it was just this
beautiful old painting.

So I was like, "Oh, I, I
have a gift right here."

And then I was kind of-- I went to the
table to look for, um, you know, like,

the program, and there were all the--
there were buttons, like, these little

buttons too that said that you graduated.

So I grabbed a few of those even
though I was just like, "You know,

I, I would never wear a button."

But I wanted, like, all
the, the swag, you know?

And the, the auditorium was huge, and it
was filled with everybody's family and

You know, it wasn't like you needed a,
you know, a ticket and, you know, each

c- you know, class member only got,
like, a couple tickets for their family.

It wasn't like that.

It was just the place was
big enough for everyone.

And I was walking with a friend
of mine from school that was

also on the school council

I, I remember I had texted her to see
if she had any wrapping paper before

she got to the thing, but the, the,
the commencement was gonna start in,

like, two minutes and my mom was there

And she was, she was like obesely
overweight and just like sitting

there and, but she was there.

And I was like so happy that she was
there even though she like didn't feel…

I could tell she didn't kinda feel
good, but she was proud of me.

And then my friend just like jumped
on her and gave her like this huge hug

'cause she was like sitting on the floor.

Like, people were like in the back
sitting on the floor, and I like

grabbed a cushion from somebody else
that was like, their family was next

to them, next to us, and the little
kid was like sleeping on the floor.

Yeah, too much.

I didn't give you this much detail.

But, um

I was just happy that my mom was there

And then I was like,
"Okay, it's time to go."

And we were walking towards where the
students were sitting, the graduates,

and I knew I had to give a speech

But I wasn't nervous or
anything, and then I woke up.

And then I was like, "Oh,
is that love still there?"

And I was like, "Oh, yeah, there it is."

I really have this awareness.

It's like the first time that
I actually really love myself.

Like, that's what it feels like.

It feels like not the kiss in the
mirror from the book Fairy Princess.

It's beyond that already

And I'm sure the graduation represents,
you know, whatever I graduated to the

next phase or something like that,
and that's what we've been in is this

Michael: Final phase

Audree: Well, we're

Michael: past- Of this
long training program

Audree: We're past the final phase.

We're on the other side
of it in a new phase

And so all this started two weeks
ago when we had a channeling

And as she had been saying, we're in
like this final phase of the breakthrough

And they left us with, "We want
you to contemplate being special

Remember that?

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: It feels like a
very, very long time ago

Michael: Then there was a lot
of, uh, finding the places where

we're giving our power away and-

Audree: Mm-hmm

… Michael: reclaiming it.

And, and it's like, you know, when I, I
look at the whole mechanics of everything,

'cause, you know, I'm a mechanic.

Audree: Oh.

Michael: And, you know, I just see,
like, you know, without the awareness,

without the kind of, without the
guidance to get to see all the places

and situations where we've given away
our power, how else can we reclaim it?

And how else can we create what
we want when we're, you know,

busy creating what we don't want?

I mean, it's just, it's
just really profound how-

Audree: Well, it-

… Michael: for me, how complex creation is.

Audree: So it goes back even further
because I remember, I, I barely

remember what two weeks ago was like.

M- And I'm recalling that when I went
through a whole entire process of just

seeing where I wanted to be special

And, and the underlying, like
what is underneath that and that

sense of survival, and also the
s- punishment for wanting to be

special because in our society that's

You're not supposed to, you're
not supposed to do that.

You're not supposed to want that.

And what started to come in over the
next few days was something about m-

the sutra that I was told a long time
ago, like that spontaneously arose

within me, was the mind wanted to be
God, and in doing so forgot that it was.

And that's when we started

Instead of looking at the egoic
consciousness which had come into unity

and was processed and purified and
clear and shifted into source or creator

consciousness unified with source.

Like, that happened in our being.

We haven't had a, haven't
had a podcast since then.

Mm-hmm.

Which was an extraordinary event that
happened I don't even know how many days

over days or whatever that happened.

That unification- Yeah, that, that
alone was very … That was very intense

… and, and then … Yeah, the unification
and the p- and the purification

that came after that unification.

Like, and we've always said the
egoic consciousness, what we're

doing here, the evolution, is
the transmutation, healing, and

transformation of the egoic consciousness.

It forgot that it's never
been separated from source

And that, that purification and
all the healing around that, it…

All that, all that happens is that the
egoic consciousness shifts into knowing

it is creator consciousness, and it
unifies with source consciousness.

We went through this whole process,
and then after that, I think was the-

you know, contemplation of where,
where do you wanna be special?

And then all of a sudden it
was like, now we're gonna, now

we're gonna purify the mind.

It's like that was the next-

Michael: Very physical.

Audree: Very f- oh, right.

They said you're,

Michael: you'll- Re- defining
the neurotransmitters, rewiring.

If you know the 4 A's,
it's essentially that.

It's seeing the, you know, rewi- rewiring
the, the neural pathway that's causing the

harm, that's embedded in our physiology.

Audree: Yes.

Michael: And so-

Audree: And that was surprising to us
because we thought, oh, after we do

the egoic consciousness- Woo-hoo, we're

Michael: done

… Audree: we're done.

Michael: Well,

that's the name of the game, is like, oh,
you just made it through the next level.

First thing, purification.

Second thing, purification.

Third thing, purification.

Audree: Well, and I think what we
found, what was interesting is,

so in the mechanics of creation-

Michael: Well, the…

Will you just pause for a sec?

What?

I mean, what you said
was actually profound.

I mean, so it's not like-

Audrey's egoic consciousness

is resolved and unified with,
a- as creator conscious.

Not like Audrey's or Michael's,
it's the egoic consciousness

Audree: Mm-hmm

Michael: The egoic
consciousness for everybody

Everybody.

So what it means from a mechanics
perspective, at this stage, that

limiting factor in evolution has been
cleared, and that the remaining work is

purifying the physicality of the mind.

I mean, it's really quite,
quite profound in terms of the

implications of what's unfolded

Audree: Well, there is only
one consciousness, and we're

just a, a little sliver, like
a little slice of mandel torte

Michael: Right.

And so that's what's purifying now is the,
the, the, the, the very physical aspects

connected with our, our soul inception
crystal, uh, multi-dimensionally across

all lifetimes and parallel realities.

And so that's what's in
this, this structure that's

in this final purification.

It's a very … I guess there's
an energetic component, but a

very physical rewiring of the,
the, the mind or the brain.

And

Audree: you know what I'm remembering
right now is that there was a moment

where I woke up in the middle of
the night and I had this very, uh,

intense, uh, incarnational review.

It wasn't lifetime … It was, it
was lifetime, and then it went back

where I had complete forgiveness.

It wasn't even a forgiveness.

It was just, like, gratitude for every
experience that I've ever had in my life.

And then in other incarnations.

Like, I didn't remember all my
past lives, but I remembered some

significant past lives that I've
had that had been impacting me.

And it was like everything
cleared all at once, and then

there was nothing there anymore.

There was no thought.

There was no emotion.

There was, there was nothing.

It was just … It was
purely peaceful and still

I don't know when that happened.

I think that's what's good about these
podcasts is when we do them regularly-

Michael: We remember what happened

Audree: we, we have some sort of record
of what happened and when it happened.

Mm.

Ah, the true reason why
we're doing these podcasts.

Michael: Mm.

Audree: At least for me

Yes, there's been so much going on

Michael: I think for, for
me, the kind of the epiphany-

Audree: And that feels good

… Michael: and the spark where I'm like,
"Okay, we can do a podcast now," is

there was this moment where this morning
sitting here in our living room, Audrey

asked, you know, "Do you love yourself?"

And I, you know, I sort of started
going into it, and there's this,

you know, you know, these warm
feelings of self-love and so on.

But I'm going like, "Okay,
that's not the juice."

I'm like, "What will-- what, what's,
what's the, what's the not this?"

It's like, oh, it's the self-hatred.

Okay, there it is.

And then, and then it
was, it spontaneously…

That's how you know things are happening.

It's spontaneous.

There's awareness that love
and hate are the same energy.

Right?

You may have heard that.

It's kind of a popular
culture parlance or whatever.

And so I'm like, I'm going-- And
then I'm feeling them both and I'm

going, "Oh, they are the same energy."

And I'm going, "Oh, well, all the
self-hatred is just intense self-love."

And then my whole being just
exploded open, experiencing

Not the intense self-hatred, but
the intense self-love that it was

masquerading out of every, it just sort of
dissolving into the truth of what it is.

It's just creation energy, which is love.

Audree: Isn't that cool that
you could just shift your

perspective and everything changes?

Michael: Yeah.

It just takes a bit of work to, to
build the, the muscles to get there.

Hmm.

And then the, uh, during the night, I
also had this kind of experience of like

there was, you know, the mind coming
up and so on, and then I'm like, "Okay,

well, what are the mechanics here?"

And, and going, "Okay, well," you know,
experiencing the essence of what I am,

the, the essence, the, the spark of
creation, of creation energy, and, uh,

experiencing that, really like penetrating
this hard no of separation within my being

Like a, like a, a, you know, a, a sperm
entering an egg or a, or a seed breaking

open to just let, let all the energy out.

I mean, this is the, I think the,
the, the, you know, the mechanic here

is we're using all of our power to
insist that we're separate, which

then leads to survival and the lack
and the self-hatred and the- And

Audree: then we dissipate our power by
giving it away to others, so we don't

have our power to even power up enough to

To take our power back

Michael: Yeah.

I remember, like, you know, hearing
people talking about separation and, like,

you know, I, I, I'm not really, like, a
spiritual student at all, you know, and

people talking about this concept and
I'm going like, "I, like, I- what the…

Separation, what the hell
are you talking about?"

Right?

I mean, the re- reaction in my system.

And so I'll give my kinda dumbed down
version just in case anyone listening is

in that situation, which is separation
is this feeling that one is, you know

… It's all the, you know that you're in
separation when all the stuff is there,

like the unworthiness or the shame or the-

Audree: Punishment

Michael: or the lack or the, this need
to, you know, to fight for survival and,

um, that's really the, the separation.

I mean, ultimately it's that we've
separated this understanding.

We haven't separated from God.

We've separated from the, our
own truth of what and who we are.

We've separated from our own truth,
our own beingness, and created an

experience of lack and limitation, and
it's just this choice that's been made

that we don't have access to 'cause
it's so deeply veiled and hidden.

And what this really, you know, now that
I'm seeing it where, where I am now in

this stage of the journey is, like, all
this journey is is about it, you know,

the, she said that, you know, there's
no, um, there's no flash cooking here.

This is like a slow roast, right?

There's, you know, slowly, you know,
cooking our being so that we have the

energetics, we, we can hold the awareness.

We're, we're in a powerful yes to evolve,
and that moves us through this, this, this

journey of waking up to the truth of what
and who we are, which is that, you know,

ultimately which is what's being talked
about today, this love of our own being.

Audree: And the she had
been kicking her ass

Like we are in a training program

Michael: Yeah, I almost
failed the other day.

Audree: Yes, you

Michael: did

Audree: I was like channel-- So
when I channel the she, it's very

strange because what I do is I,

I sit back.

So my consciousness is like the
aspect of my identity basically as

Audrey sits back, and the she come in.

In the beginning, it's like I'm very aware
of the stepping back and allowing, and the

she are like these beings of light that
have so much love that I could just…

My whole entire system just settles in

And then they start talking,
and pretty soon I'm immersed

in, in whatever they're saying

But I can't, I don't understand
exactly how it goes, but it's almost

like I hear what they're saying,
but I, I'm nowhere to be found.

And every once in a while I'll
like, my mind will kind of ask

a question or something like
that, or like, "What's going on?"

Or…

And so I remember everything that they
said, but not everything that they said.

It's more like a sense or a feeling.

Like, I don't even know how to explain it.

But they also, when they come
through me, they can feel my emotion.

So when they're doing any kind of clearing
or upgrades or any kind of process

I can feel it in my body.

They can feel it in my body,
and they understand what,

what's happening inside of me.

Michael: I, I- Yeah, you get, you get
the platinum version of the, the package.

Audree: I, I, like, and then
sometimes they talk, and then

they're also showing me things.

So they're not s- there's things
that they're not saying, and they're

showing me at the sa- I don't, I don't
really understand how to describe it

So when they were kicking our
ass, basically, there was this

moment where I can, I can feel

Like, I was like, wait a minute.

I can…

They, they were sensing Michael's
no even though he was saying yes.

He's like, "Yes, I'm ready to go forward."

And they were like, "No, you're not."

Like,

and so they, they, they patiently…

They were just so loving and patient,
and at the same time they were very firm.

You can't move further on your,
in this journey into this higher

frequencies if you're not a yes.

They were ver- it, it was almost
like they were, they were, uh, the

guards of the portal or something.

Michael: Well, they s- they said they are.

They're the guardians.

Like, just, I, I think what the,
the exact phrase is just 'cause

you're source consciousness
doesn't mean you get to go on.

Right.

You actually need to be a yes
to moving through the process.

Audree: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Michael: Right?

'Cause it's, it's not mandatory, right?

I mean, we can all just-

Audree: This is really interesting
because I've been working on Evolutionary

Energetics again, and I'm in the l-
this light editing phase of, like,

it's already been written, so I'm
pushing it through the AI, and the

AI is like, "You can't say that.

You can't say that not
everybody's gonna evolve."

Like, and I was like, "Yes, I can."

Uh, 'cause it, it's like I'm trying to
explain to the AI that this, there's

a, there's a, there's a tipping
point of choice, and the choices

have already been made, and it's
not a bad thing and, and, you know.

And so it's like, oh, I understand, but
maybe you could say it in a different

way so you're not losing people.

'Cause I think the w- the verbiage in
the book is more you, and it's very,

you know, like I'm trying to explain to
the AI, you know, Michael's the sword of

truth and he holds a lot of integrity.

Yeah, we need to have the- And this is

Michael: what we're- We need
to have truth in there, Audrey.

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: There is-
There's no candy coating.

Audree: Y- yes, and so this is,
I agree with the AI in this,

in this instance, is that-

We also don't need to say things

Michael: We don't wanna create fear.

Audree: We, exactly.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: And we weren't creating
fear, but it was just a very absolute

kind of, you could change it back.

You'll see where it's changed, and if
you don't like it, you'll change it back.

But I, I agreed with, uh, the
soft undertones of saying the

truth without obliterating people.

I don't even know if that's the right word

Michael: Well, you know, I think the, the
deviated conventional approaches, while

they seem logical and they seem to make
sense, are the completely wrong thing.

Like, and, and I know from the process
that we were just describing that I

went through- Yeah … with the no
and not having a real yes, what I got

to through that process was my yes,
which is, like, the most powerful

thing I'm experiencing in my being.

And- I love it

like, well, I'll repeat, is
the most powerful thing I'm

experiencing my being is that yes.

That yes is so profound,
like the real yes.

And so that's what's needed to
get, help people who are real

yes get to their real yes.

That's what's needed.

So I, I, you know, I think there's
so much distortion from the deviation

of what's cor- I- it might be
correct to do it the way you have it.

I don't know.

No.

I'll have to look at it.

So

Audree: here's, the first thing is,
is that the AI was created within

the deviation by deviated humans.

Michael: To support
deviated humans reading it.

Audree: Exactly.

And-

Michael: And we're not targeting that

… Audree: I am, with the AI right
now, it's a light editing touch to

make sure that things are cited, and
it's checking, it's fact-checking.

And so I had to tell it, it's like,
"Well, where do you get this information?"

That's what it's asking me.

"How do you know this?"

And so I've had to explain that this
is through personal observation,

through mystical experience,
and through channeled beings.

And, and so it doesn't line
up with mainstream science.

And so when you have something
that's fact-checking, just

as, like you cannot go into

I had a doctor's appointment today,
and they, and, and, you know, they had

this … I had to answer these questions,
and the questions were … You know,

if I answered yes to any of these
questions, they would immediately put

me into a, into a psych unit because
it doesn't, it doesn't align with

Like, I'm in an evolutionary process.

There's parts of my being that are,
are dying off so that new ways of

functioning, new ways of perception,
thinking, behaviors could unfold.

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: And so if I answered these
questions, they would be like, "Oh, you

wanna commit suicide," or, "We're worried
about you," or … We're not liv- You and

I are not living in mainstream reality.

Like, even your dad doesn't understand,
like, what's going on, and we're, and

we're in a trust the process and a
leap of faith of, of going against-

Well- … conventional society-

Michael: I, you know, I don't

Audree: think- … to discover
something completely different.

Michael: I, I mean, how
can anyone understand?

I mean, the whole structure of creation
is so preposterous and ridiculous

from a conventional perspective
that it's in- incomprehensibly.

I don't think even our advanced
students can really understand what,

what's going on because it's just-
No … like, 'cause really, 'cause

when I think about my journey, all I
could understand was the step I'm on

and a bit of the next step, the step
I'm on and a bit of the next step.

But anything beyond that is really
just kind of like I don't know, like

science fiction or possibility or-

you know, there might be a resonance
with truth, but it can't be our

reality because that's not the
stage of evolution we're at.

And so no one can actually … That's why
I say, like, you know, Audrey sometimes

has these moments of relation- or had in
the past, relationship challenge or worry

or whatever, and I'm like, like, "I d-
I don't, I don't understand, like, what,

what's going on with you because, like,
I, I love you and, and, you know, fun

fact, like, you're the only person on the
planet I can actually talk to because,

like, n- no, no one, I mean, no one

I mean, I can have conversations
with other people, but not even about

this stuff because then, then I'm,
I'm gonna be the teacher, right?

It's not even, it's not, like,
a real relationship anymore."

So it's … I don't know.

Audree: Yeah, but if our, if our
living together doesn't- Did you say,

" Michael: Yeah, but"?

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: You sure did.

Wow.

And yet-

' Audree: Cause I'm still in this
place of if this is not working

and we can't live in s- the way
society wants us to, to live.

Like, I don't wanna
live homeless in a tent.

Like, we still have to abide
by the certain- … physical

laws of how society functions.

Like, we need money to survive.

Mm-hmm.

Da, da, da, da, da.

Like, that, those kinds of things.

I, I,

Michael: I think it's
more about transcending.

Like, playing the game,
but not in the game.

Audree: Exactly.

Yeah.

Michael: It's okay.

Audree: And, and it's very difficult
to ride that, that, that, that line.

And I, a- and at the same
time, I'm all in here.

I am all in on this journey.

And, like, at the same time,
I'm just kind of like, "Well, I

don't know what's gonna happen."

Michael: Yeah.

I don't know.

But it's interesting.

Like, what- I

Audree: mean, maybe we take our, our
last little pieces of coin and we

move to India, and we go live on a
mountain, and people will feed us.

Yeah.

Because w- you know,
because of who we are.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: And at the
same … I don't want that.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: I, I wanna live in this world.

Michael: I want- Is that your backup plan?

Audree: That's my backup plan.

I am just thinking, see- It's a

Michael: good one.

Audree: Yeah.

Um,

s- 'cause I do-

Michael: I didn't even
have a backup plan … I

Audree: do re- I spent six days traveling
around with a driver in India, and they

He took me to Tiruvannamalai, and I
went to all … It was the first time

I went there, and I went to all these
different, uh … I did the pilgrimage

around, around, uh, Archana, the
mountain, which is really, like, a hill.

Anyways, and he was just like, "I
wanna bring you back to my village.

Can I bring you back to my village?"

And I knew what would happen,
and I was like, "N- no.

That wouldn't be good for me."

Michael: Yeah.

Well, you've been offered, uh … Somebody
else wanted you to be the Swami for

their organization, and, you know,
you had so many opportunities to- Oh,

Audree: yeah … to do that
And then also Tilak wanted me

to go- Yeah … to Sri Lanka.

Michael: Yeah.

Yeah.

Audree: No.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: Doesn't serve people.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: And at the same time, I'm
just kind of, like, sitting here

going, like, "When will our work
take off so we can actually earn

a living from our being-ness?"

Yeah.

And that might not happen.

We'll have to go get real jobs.

You'll find me at Starbucks, people,

making a, a matte macchiato.

I, I don't know.

I can't even memorize all the things.

It's … I can't work at Starbucks.

It's like-

Michael: He- he'll

Audree: return your change … maybe
I could get a job in, in their,

uh, in their people and culture.

They need a little help.

Like, I don't know

Michael: Well, I think, uh, you
know what the she said, it's only

really yes when you keep going
and there's no hope in sight.

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: And you just keep on going anyway

Audree: Well, that's why, I mean, coming
back to when the, the Xi were asking

us what we chose, 'cause there was,
like, another gate to walk through.

And I was already on the other side.

There wasn't even a … Like,
it wasn't even an issue.

Yeah,

Michael: you're, you're
the advanced student.

I'm, I'm the slacker at this point
in the whole, whole training.

But

Audree: I feel like I'm a slacker
and you have more discipline,

way more discipline than me.

And, and I was, like, watching,
and I was like, "Wait, why isn't

Michael over here with me?"

'Cause I'm more like 21.

Is it 21

Michael: or 22?

It, it's more like tw- 22.

Audree: It's

Michael: 22.

The movie Soul, yeah.

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: Well, it, you know,
it's more like Tortoise and Hare.

So you go whoop, and then I just
kinda go ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga.

And then you wait, wait.

You go, "Michael's ahead of me.

Wait a second."

Whoop.

It's- Mm-hmm … it's more like that.

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: Tortoise and the Hare.

I remember I had- It's
not, not like a slide

… Audree: I had a s-

Michael: It's just a different
mode of operation for the

journey, which is perfect.

Audree: Yeah.

I had a session with this
one guy in, uh, in Colorado.

I can't remember his name, but he was
the guy that was creating the, uh,

based off Dr.

Emoto's work and David Hawking
with the, the levels of

consciousness- Mm-hmm … to 1,000.

Yeah.

And he was creating … Oh, God, why
can't I remember this guy's name?

He was creating these, uh, these things
you could print out and put on bottles

of water and create your own medicine.

It was really powerful.

My friends were doing it,
and I did it for a while.

So I booked a, a ses- a healing session
with him, and, uh, and he's taking me

through this kinda step-by-step close
your eyes and da, da, da, and he was

sensing into my incarnation and my energy.

And then he's like, "Whoa,
I've never seen that before."

And I was like, "What?"

And he's like, "You went straight to
source consciousness, no stopping.

It's like you ran there.

I've never seen anything quite like it."

And he assessed my level
of consciousness at 1,000.

And I was like, "Cute."

I'm an overachiever, but I can't do math.

That was a good session actually.

We, um,

um, we took some of my fractals,
my splits of my incarnation

that were in other bodies-

Michael: Mm-hmm

… Audree: and brought it back into,

into my being.

It's

Michael: amazing how many
fractals there are out there.

Audree: It is amazing.

That's why we have that
unification process.

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: That works really well.

That's when all this started actually.

Why did we create that
unification process?

Were we told to do that or
did it just … Was it like a

… Michael: No, it came up as part
of one of the channelings of we're

unifying all the fragments and

… Audree: Got it.

And then we did this process.

Yeah.

And then we did it with our
students, the level two students.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: We also were … From April
1st until the beginning of June,

we were do- we were, we were in,
we were teaching a level two course

that, that also just finished up.

So when we teach a
course, we take a course.

So there was a huge evolutionary shift

For us.

But it's also, it, it kind of
went s- we went so far beyond the

students that I had to cancel the-

Michael: It felt weird
doing the, yeah, the E2.

Audree: Yeah.

So I canceled the, uh, in-pers-
… Well, what I did was we had,

for all this time we taught our
advanced students the evolutionary

energetics to a really high level.

And it felt weird because we
were going beyond that level.

And w- and, and

Michael: also

Audree: there w- And then the,
the grounding changed … also

some mechanic changed.

Michael: Yeah.

Audree: Yeah.

The mechanics changed a lot.

The mechanics changed.

It wasn't the same.

The technique changed.

So we, um, we brought the, our advanced
students back from, into, uh, evolutionary

energetics from levels zero to 111.

And so we've, we've been learning, we've
been in learning mode of how to teach

this work and, and what the implications
are if we move too far advance,

advancing people into this work without

Michael: The stabilization-
Yeah … and the unification.

Yeah.

Audree: And it's true
'cause it's true with us.

It's kind of like we wanna go further.

Like, yeah, I wanna be my consciousness.

I want my level of
consciousness to be at 1,000.

And at the same time, the desire
for that and the reality of where

I'm at in my evolutionary journey,
the step-by-step slow and steady

You're talking about the
tortoise and the hare now?

The tortoise actually wins
because he's slow and steady.

Michael: Right.

Except we're in a non-zero sum game.

Audree: We are in a non-zero sum

Michael: game.

Fun fact.

Audree: I know.

So going back to

Michael: Little nod to Arrival there

Audree: I know.

Going back to the stabilization

and how to teach this work

So it's stable in our being, and it's a
living, working reality, and we can shift

our reality based on the stabilization
while holding high states of consciousness

or high vibrational frequencies, and
all the purification that goes with it.

So, like, even now in this past
couple weeks, a couple days ago, we

kind of passed through this gate,
and w- we've been in the sixth

phase frequency of the universe.

We've been in this … We've been
in this very high vibrational

frequency, and we're in a training
program of how to create reality.

But we've been taken step
by step in that process.

There's still purification to be had.

Do you remember what
happened to me yesterday?

Michael: Yeah, spontaneously
in the afternoon you felt like

you were having a heart attack.

Audree: I

Michael: had- And you thought you
may have to go to the hospital.

Audree: Yeah.

I had the- And I'm

Michael: going, "Oh, that's
just the energetic, Audrey"

… Audree: one of the biggest- I…

Michael: What do you
think my day's been like?

Well- You go, "Yeah, but
your day's always like that."

Audree: Yeah.

I had one … I had- I'm

Michael: not supposed to have this.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Audree: Well, I had an anxiety attack
at the level that I haven't had since

I was married to my first husband.

Michael: I'm like, "Oh, this is so good.

You're purifying."

Audree: Back- And I'm like,
"Er" … back in 2009 when, when

Evolutionary Energetics was coming in.

This is, like, it was hu- That's a huge
… And I was like, "What is going on?"

Yeah.

Like, I'm not suppo-
I'm at this other level.

I'm not supposed to be having this
kind of intense purification process.

Michael: Even though that morning
that she told us we were e- gonna

experience intense purification- They
did … and this was the last of it.

Yeah.

Audree: See, I didn't … I d- I
don't … I'm there, but- I missed that

Michael: part of the memo.

Audree: No, I, I don't, I
don't remember a lot of things.

Like, in the moment I'm present, but when
I come out of it- Yeah … I, I, I have

to listen to it again, and help … It's
helpful for me to read the transcript.

Which you don't do.

Or just ask you.

I just like to ask you, "What happened?

What did they say?"

Yeah, that was intense.

But then this morning I woke up and it
was like this love that I have for myself.

Mm.

And then I felt my son's love for me, and
I was like, "Oh my God, is he gonna die?"

Like, I'm like Is he gonna die?

Michael: No.

It's

Audree: just you took a moment to feel in.

Michael: No, he's not gonna die.

Audree: No, I hope not.

Michael: No, it's just he's
always loved you, but you

haven't been able to perceive it.

Audree: I felt it when
I was pregnant with him.

Michael: And just because there's
all this, you know, conditioned

behavior on top, that's what
you experience in the moment.

I

Audree: know.

Michael: That's not the truth
of what's underneath it all.

Audree: Yeah.

But I could, I can

Michael: f- Uh-huh.

Audree: Yeah, I can feel
it … I can feel him.

Michael: Ooh.

Audree: Feels so good.

I love you too

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: Oh, the universe
just got quiet for a second.

Did you feel that?

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Yeah

Audree: You know, this isn't
my first rodeo bringing

this work out into the world

Michael: Mm-hmm

And folks, if you didn't get it,
that was the closing transmission

of this profound what experts just
profound transmission of, of just

pure love source consciousness.

So if you didn't notice that, you
might wanna go back and tune in

I'm complete

Is there more you wanna say?

All right.

Audree: No.

Michael: Well, thanks for joining us.

Let's be evolutionary, which is saying
yes, the choice for our own evolution

into the truth of one and who we are,
and creating a life from that place.

Thank you for joining us

Creators and Guests

Audree Tara Sahota
Host
Audree Tara Sahota
I was born with mystical gifts I learned to hide from a world that wasn't ready, the weird kid teaching Samadhi at slumber parties while trying to make sense of being different. Almost a decade in formal healing training, a graduate of the Barbara Brennan Collage of Healing. Five years on a Chicago medical team, healing what Western medicine couldn't touch. In 2009 I received Evolutionary Energetics, yet discovering it and embodying it are completely different. I've done the messy work: dissolved my ego, healed my deepest patterns, trusted guidance I couldn't see when everything rational screamed not to. I'm not a guru with all the answers. I'm a real person who happened to be born remembering cosmic truth, walked the uncomfortable path of living it, and learned how to make it practical.
Michael K Sahota
Host
Michael K Sahota
Raised with logic and science, I started as the ultimate skeptic. In my AI PhD program, I discovered that human vision and cognition is controlled hallucination; we literally make up reality. After years in software architecture and management roles leading organizational transformations, the pattern became clear: the consciousness of the leader creates culture, culture creates outcomes. I hit the truth: I was the limiting factor in every change initiative. Meeting Audree transformed everything as our opposite approaches unlocked something extraordinary. Through 100+ leadership trainings, we didn't create this work, we received it, download by download, in an unfolding evolutionary process. I've done the messy work: learned to trust direct experience over logic, followed guidance that made no rational sense. I'm not a guru with all the answers. My passion is the mechanics of creation. I'm the bridge between worlds, translating cosmic downloads into step-by-step practical tools.
2026-07-09 E51 Your Self-Hatred Is Just Love in Disguise
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