B Evolutionary: The Podcast

Michael: Welcome to our living room

Audree: I love this living room.

I was watching a video of you.

There was, like, a short on the
Be Evolutionary YouTube channel.

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: And you were in the living room.

So if anybody wants to see what
the living room looks like,

you can go watch that little…

There's only, like, one video there.

Michael: That's weird.

I think I posted, uh

I think there was a time when we posted,
like, I don't know, a whole bunch.

Maybe it's- It was 20

… Audree: maybe it's on a different- On

Michael: all the different social medias.

Mm.

They're usually as shorts.

They're usually as shorts.

I don't know.

Audree: Yeah, but shorts and
videos would just pop up on

the whole Be Evolutionary- I-

YouTube channel

… Michael: yeah, it's not set up

Audree: properly.

Hmm.

Michael: Anyway

Audree: I love this living room

Like I'm really comfortable here

You had a beautiful share
with me this morning.

So we did our normal sit down and
talk about, like, the insights

that we were having this morning.

And, um, I didn't ask Michael to mic up
because it was just this really … It

was just s- it was just such a beautiful
share, but I didn't wanna disrupt the flow

And I didn't wanna…

I just wanted you to
have your moment without

Having to share publicly

And then at the end I said,
"Oh, well we can go back."

Michael: Hmm.

Well-

Audree: And you could share
it again if you want to

Michael: Yeah.

I, I, I, like so, so I guess
the backstory here is, has been

I don't know, maybe five days
since we did a podcast, and

it feels like an eternity ago.

Feels like an whole age ago.

Audree: Are you sure it
wasn't like a couple days ago?

Michael: Uh, maybe.

I mean, it's been a couple…

It feels like forever ago.

And, uh, I have been recording, just
not, not for podcast, just, just

recording the experiential understanding
of the mechanics of creation.

It didn't feel right to do a podcast on
them 'cause they're just very, very deep.

They've been just very, very deep
mechanics of the, the structure

of creation at the level of
light codes and things like that.

And, and there's, it, it's not,
it's not of any interest or value

to anyone unless you're actually at
the level where you can-- you refine

your awareness to perceive those,
those refined mechanics of creation.

And, um, actually, uh, let me, let me
just segue here before we go into this.

I had this realization of like, well

You know, everyone wants this, you
know, blissful state and, you know,

have this meditation to put you in this
amazing state or have this, you know,

breathing practice put you in this
amazing state and what, what I got was,

well, like, you know, people don't get it

That it's not about that.

That that's chasing rainbows that can
never be, never be realized, um, that way.

Can never be realized
by chasing the rainbow.

Chasing the rainbow will
not give you the rainbow.

What will give you the rainbow, the,
the truth, the purification, the, the,

the permanent state, is by being here
in the now and looking at your life and,

and stopping and purifying and using
the tools with every moment that upsets

you, every disturbance in your field.

The now is the pathway into
the truth of who you are.

The, the pathway is not through--
I mean, we, we wanna use tools like

Evolutionary Energetics and the ETOM
mantra and things like that to support

the journey, but those aren't the journey.

The journey is now.

Awareness is the primary mechanism
of evolution, and the way you get to

those refined states of understanding
the mechanics of creation is you

start with the basics of, like, what
is happening in my life right now?

What is happening in
my thoughts right now?

What is happening in my
relationships right now?

What is happening directly
right in front of me right now?

That was another moment in
the shower this morning.

Mm-hmm.

It's like, wait a minute.

It's all right there in front of us,
and people who are highly committed to

their spiritual journey are discarding
the most important thing and, you

know, practicing various forms of
spiritual bypassing and, and so on.

Or even people like us and our
students who are on the journey, it's

just so easy to not-- to skip over
those little glitches that happen

moment to moment, those little micro
fears, those little, like, little

glitches of, like, we're r- somebody
says something, we're resisting it.

Like, all of those are
the gateway through.

Every moment of pain
is the gateway through.

Every moment of struggle
is the gateway through

Okay.

Okay, I- Amongst yourselves.

Yeah, Audrey's going to
the bathroom, I guess.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, um, so, so that, that's…

And, and this is-- And that's actually
what my share is this morning.

My share is that, that,
uh, well, I'll go…

To give you the, the, the, the
kind of the story is, like,

I was waking up at 3:00 a.m.,

and, you know, the mind's going and,
you know, I can feel my frequency's

dropped, and I'm aware of the whole thing.

I'm just watching the whole thing and,
you know, I'm using the tools, and stuff

doesn't really work when I'm lying in bed.

Like, I usually just have to get up,
and I've been getting up for, you

know, uh, probably, like, three, four
nights in a row at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m.

and working through and having these
breakthroughs in my internal state.

And I'm like, "Well,
I, you know, I'm tired.

Like, I'm just gonna lay down and
see if I can work through this

lying down without getting up."

And, you know, things kinda sorta
worked, and I fell back asleep.

And, and then it was kinda coming back
to, like, you know, this, you know,

liminal state where it's half-asleep,
half-awake, and I was getting all

these flashbacks to all these moments
of, of, of pain or discomfort.

Like, really random ones, not even,
like, necessarily big ones, but just

all these different random things,
and I'm going like, "Oh, okay,

well, I guess this is going on.

Like, like, what?

I'm supposed to clear all this?

Like, there's a lot here," right?

Like, what, what…

You know, you know, it's kinda
like playing Whac-A-Mole.

I mean, there's so many
different things coming up.

Like, how can, how can
you possibly do them all?

And, and then I started
to realize, wait a second.

My, you know, so really my whole life
has been, like, this pain and suffering,

and I'm starting to experience this,
like, holy, you know, holy moly.

Like, there's a lot here going on.

And I'm like, "Okay, I guess
it's time to go up, get up."

And by, by now it's, like, I
don't know, whatever, 5:30 a.m.,

and it's light out here already
for where we live in the world.

Um, and, uh, and I'm like, "Okay,
I'm gonna get up, go in my shower."

So I'm in the shower, so this
is, again, you know, another

shower breakthrough here.

That's what kinda seems my MO.

That's when, like, I open up, and I'm
just really curious, and the guides

come in and help me out and so on.

And so-

So I'm, I'm looking at all this
pain and, and seeing and starting

to feel and experience all this
pain of my life, all the suffering,

all the, like, deep, deep moments.

Like, and this is getting,
like, really, really gnarly.

And then I'm reminded of,
you know, this teaching.

Well, from the egoic perspective, you
know, it's all, you know, shit and pain.

But from the perspective of our higher
self, it's all perfection because each one

of those moments is the gateway through.

And then what happened was a- almost
like this life review or it was exactly

like a-- it was exactly like a life
review of seeing how each of those

moments of pain enabled the whole
journey, and that if those hadn't been

there, I would not be where I am now

At the verge of the other side or
on the other side somewhere there.

So there was this moment, like I can feel
it right now, this moment of seeing the

perfection of the misery and the pain
and the experiences and the suffering

and the unworthiness and the shame of my
life and seeing how each of those moments

were the perfect thing that was needed.

And then on the other side of the fence,
having this awareness of this aspect

that, of what I, who I am as this eternal
being, never born, never died and, and

recognizing like, "Wait a minute, I'm
the one who created this whole plan.

I'm the one who created
this whole situation.

I'm the one who created and endorsed
this whole journey because I knew

this was the only way to come through
this situation and this experience."

It's not like anyone's, you know,
it's like, it's not like any…

There, there was no thought
of anyone doing this to me or,

you know, I'm at the hands of a
merciless fate or anything like that.

It's like, "Wait a minute, I
created this because I can see…"

and I am placed of seeing
the mechanics of creation.

This is the only trajectory through.

If the pain knob had not been
turned to a 12 plus plus or a 25

or 100 on a scale of 1 to 10, I
would not have gone on the journey.

Like, I would not have.

I mean, it's just that it was just so
obvious to me right now that everything

was exactly perfect and exactly needed.

And this is what no one understands.

Everyone thinks, "Oh, I'm
dealing with this thing and

I'm dealing with that thing."

And what, what I got to and, and,
and, and you are and at the same

time there's another perspective.

And so the perspective I was arriving at
is, is that, "Wait a minute, I can either

choose to be in the egoic perspective and
seeing the pain, seeing the suffering or

I can be in this eternal perspective and
recognize that everything just happened

because it needed to happen to get to…"

And, and, and then, and then
the final part comes in-

Audree: Ho-ho-hold on, 'cause
there's a transmission.

When you were telling me this story
the first time, that's where the

transmission locked something in my being.

Like I actually- Yeah … felt pain
in my brain, and I had this shift

So say it again

So when we start,

Michael: so what I was doing
or what was happening, it was a

happening of looking at everything

Everything, every moment every pain

Every suffering, external, internal,
everything, as the gateway through

that each of those moments

It's almost like the, the blows of
life, the blows that we think we're

suffering, it's like we're a, like
a block of marble and each blow is

taking off the thing that's not us
until this beautiful sculpture's left.

But the blows are needed to remove
all the things that are not this

exquisite sculpture, which is
the truth of what and who we are.

And so if you think about,
"Oh, I'm a piece of marble.

I'm getting all these blows on me.

Oh, this sucks, this sucks, this sucks."

But when you finish

And you see, well, all of that was
necessary to create the sculpture.

All of that was needed.

Without those blows,
there is no sculpture.

There is no truth of what and who you are

And so this was the awareness
that was coming into me.

It's like wait a second, everything
had to happen There was no moment

of unworthiness, no moment of
shame that could've been avoided

that all of it was needed
to, to create this experience

And then within my being, there's
like this profound, almost like

this sadness for everything,
every struggle, every pain.

And at the same time, an
awareness that, that, that's

a perception, a misperception.

And that when I, you know-- When we back
into the truth of what and who we are

and arriving at gratitude.

You know, first seeing
there is no gratitude

Then finally arriving at gratitude
for everything that happened

And with the gratitude, there's
this letting go of all the struggle,

all the resistance to everything.

Audree: Well, you don't even need
to hold on to those moments anymore.

You don't need to hold on to the pain
and suffering because you've concluded

the experience with the realization

It's like it comes full circle.

The data is now collected

Michael: And that's why I come
back to the present moment.

This is why I had this

Whoops

Pressed the wrong button

This is why I had this moment at
mo- awareness of the present moment.

It's like

There is only the present moment
ultimately, and it's our frequency in the

present moment that determines everything

And

As I, I can feel this as I'm letting go
fully of the past, of having gratitude

for everything that's come before and
just letting it go fully, that all those

lower frequencies that I've given my
allegiance to are cut off and gone, and

now I'm just here in high frequency.

And so this is the part about how,
you know, it's our subconscious

that's creating our reality and
so on, blah, blah, blah, but I

can feel it very viscerally now.

It's that when we have that misperception
of everything that's happened to us, when

we have that allegiance to the pain and
suffering, and, and, and, and I didn't

say this to you, but I'm just getting this
now, there's this deep allegiance we have

to the story of our pain and suffering.

The identity of I've had this
wounding, I've had this shame, I've

had this, this not belonging and
not being wanted and unworthiness

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

We have a deep, deep allegiance to
that, and that allegiance is the hold

of the egoic consciousness on our being.

And when we've let go of that
allegiance to the pain and

suffering, the low frequencies,
then we're just in high frequency

Audree: Just taking a
moment to let that sink in

I'm talking to the audience

Michael: I'm talking to myself right
now it's like me, Sylvester, yeah

Audree: The allegiance to the identity
of the pain and suffering, the story

This happened

It's not discounting it.

It's just, it happened.

Y-

Michael: you know what it feels like?

Audree: Hmm.

Michael: Um

It, it's not, it's un- So, so, so
the events happened in our lives.

They happened for sure.

There's not, that's not what
we're talking about here.

They did happen.

Mm-hmm.

It's the interpretation and the
understanding we have of those events.

And so what I'm getting to is, you
know, one of our, you know, the, the,

the Australian, you know, teacher who
shall be un- unnamed, um, said, "Well-

Audree: He who must not be named.

Michael: Yeah, he who must not be named.

Audree: Not in a bad way.

Yeah.

He- it's just that's what he told us.

Yeah.

"Do not mention my name."

Michael: Uh, so he said, "Well, you
know, when you're trying to evaluate

is this a good life event or a
negative life event," he said, "well,

you know, you gotta look down…

It's not just looking down the
next move on the chessboard or

the next 10 moves, it's like how
does this whole thing play out?"

And what I just got now is when
you play it out to the final point

of realization, you can, only
then can you see the value of it.

Audree: Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Michael: So basically, the egoic
consciousness, you, everyone listening to

this, you are identified things as good or
bad because the game hasn't played out yet

When the game finishes playing
out, then you'll realize the gift

and the perfection of each moment.

And this is not about trying to
believe it or trying to see it.

It's just knowing that this is what's
waiting for you, and the gateway through

is you looking at your present moment
reality, is going beyond everything

you've ever known before, is taking
that next step and getting the next

level of tooling to go on the journey.

That is the, that is how
you get to that place.

Otherwise, you're gonna k- keep
your shame, your unworthiness, your

lack of belonging, your loneliness-
Self-punishment … self-punishment,

the loop of self-punishment that is what
and who we are as egoic consciousness.

You will keep that loop forever

Until the frequency of the, the phase
of the universe we're in elevates, and

then everyone can just go back to source.

Audree: Wow.

Michael: I remember you
telling me about your patients

you know, who are identified with their
disease and, you know, that determined

whether you could help them or not.

And I guess what we're speaking about is a
more general case of how we're identified

with our-- all of our pain and suffering

Audree: I'm having this
really profound moment

I have this, like, background
track, this, like you say, like,

that the background radiation-
Mm-hmm … always of not being wanted

Not being loved

Michael: Not being safe

Audree: Not being safe, being different.

Like, I was adopted.

The family that adopted
me, I was m- different.

I was dirty.

I, I must have come from
a horrible background.

Mm-hmm.

You know, like all, all of the shame,
guilt, guilt for my parents not being

able to have children for seven years.

Like, all…

Like, just all of this stuff.

Then when they did have biological
children, they were better than me.

Mm-hmm.

That, and I'm like, that story, that
image, that identity has just played out

over and over and over again in my life,
and I can't shake it, no matter what I do.

Mm.

And there's something in
the transmission of your…

That's why we do this podcast

Because in the moment that we have the
insight or the awakening, it becomes

a transmission for everybody else.

So what happened was when you were
telling me the story, we weren't even

mic'd up, but I had this … Something
happened inside of me, and I had this

piercing in my brain, and I had this
deep … I don't- I can't even explain it

And then you continued talking,
and I could feel it in me.

I went back and I was like, "That's it

And it's my freak to genius channel too

And it's the very thing here for me
that's not allowing me to move forward.

It's the, the block.

Nobody will love me.

Nobody will accept me.

Like, I see it in your family.

I see it in my family.

I see it with my sisters.

I see it with all my past relationships.

I see it with walking into a workspace

I see it in me wanting to hide

And it's like this very subtle

That's where we need to look, people.

That awareness

The subtle background.

What's in the background?

What's the background identity
that is like this theme

throughout your whole entire life?

Michael: Hmm.

Well, and how we get
there is really simple.

We start with what's in the foreground,
and then we start to notice what's in

the foreground that we're missing, and
then we look at, well, what's in the

background that's kind of the obvious
stuff, and then we look deeper, what's

in the background that's hiding,
and then eventually we get here.

And then, uh, and then, then
everything just gets undone

Audree: Right, and the minute you start
to actually see the truth, see what

Oh.

You know, when you could see it
and, and accept it, it's like the

four A's, but it's- Mm … it's
like awareness and acceptance.

Oh, that's the identity
that I'm holding onto.

And I don't, it's not like I've
never seen it before or never

ac- you know, acknowledged it

But there's a transmission here

That's why I keep stopping for everyone

There's an opportunity right now

to go that deep

and choose to see it

Oh, I do this thing

Like I'm choosing this.

I'm choosing to take the perspective
of the victim, of the trauma

of the guilt, of the shame,
of the self-punishment.

I'm choosing that

I'm choosing to perpetuate it

I'm choosing to have-- make it
have impact on all of my reality

Michael: You know, I was reminded
it's so easy to see the grip.

You know, something that happened in our
childhood or 20 years ago, you know, or

10 years ago, or five years ago, we can
think about it and it-- we can bring

back that upset and that pain and that
struggle and that, you know, internal

feeling of whatever was going on for us.

And like, that's, that's
what we're dealing with.

I mean, it's not like you can
pretend it's not there or shake it.

It's like there's all this
shit in our being, all these

low-frequency structures of, of…

And this is what's con- this
is what's, this is what this

identity is holding in place.

It's 'cause underneath each of those
experiences, what I-- this is what

happened this morning, is I, I went
through, sort of going through all the

experiences, and then I was like, "Well,
what's, what's, what's in common here?"

It's like, you know, it's like,
well, it's just this thing.

Audree: You know, and it, it

Everyone has it.

Like I'm just like realizing like

You said, you know, you, one
experience and you hold onto it.

All of a sudden in my head it was like I
remember going to the store with my dad-

Michael: Right

… Audree: and they called me a shiksa.

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: And I didn't know what that was.

And it was like, 'cause the family
that adopted me is Jewish, and

I had blonde hair and blue eyes.

I looked like Shirley Temple.

Like, my mom played on that, like
dressed me up like Shirley Temple.

Like

You know, so it's, it's like that
reverse, like I wasn't like an

Asian child or, you know, a, a
Black child or anything like that.

I was…

I had blonde hair and blue
eyes, so I was, I was different.

Like, it was like the opposite.

The wrong kind of different.

The wrong kind of different.

You know, I looked WASPy, you know?

But it was like, I remember that was l-
like the first time that I heard that.

I must've been like three or four.

Mm-hmm.

And I was like, I asked my dad what
that meant, and he said, "Oh, you

have blonde hair and blue eyes.

You don't look Jewish."

And it's like calling somebody the N-word.

I mean, he didn't say that, but,
you know, that's what it was.

Shiksa was like the N-word

Or at least that's how I perceived it

But it was said that way Mm-hmm

Like dirty whore.

Like, like that's, you know

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Audree: But we hold, we hold on to that

From the perspective of hurt and
pain and separation, perpetuating it

And I think it layers on
top of everything else.

I'm just saying for me, you know?

But that's, that's what we … And then
we, we c- it's like that moment happened.

Oh.

But we, it's like, it's like one time I
had a, I, I think I've said this before,

I've, I had a- … I had a blister on my
ankle, and I was at a stoplight, and I

noticed that I was pushing my foot into,
in, into that blister to keep hurting it.

And I was like, "What am I doing?"

Like, "Why am I doing this?"

But that's what we do to ourselves
over, and over, and over, and

over, years and years and years.

And yes, we had a traumatic moment,
and yes, it hurt, but why do we

perpetuate that hurt on ourselves?

Michael: Not why, but see how we are.

The, uh, you know what you're reminding
me of is like a f- few podcasts ago

you were talking about the story of,
like, why do you need to keep the story

about the abuse from your, your mother.

Audree: Mm-hmm.

Michael: Right?

Yeah.

And so this is like the, the
generalized version of that.

Audree: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Michael: Like, why are we keeping on the
story of our identity, of the shame and

the pain and the blah, blah, blah, blah?

Like, like, we're holding
onto the past so tightly.

Audree: Or we project out into the
future, "Oh, you know, I'm, I'm

gonna have a meeting with my boss.

My boss hates me.

The meeting's not gonna go well."

Or, you know, "I'm gonna go see my family
and they're gonna, they're gonna be mean

to me," or, you know, "They're gonna,
you know, it's gonna be uncomfortable

at that party," or … Like, we just
project things into the past, you know,

or perpetuate the past- In the future

and pain and suffering and- To create it

Michael: now

… Audree: perpetu- in, and
project into the future, which

the future's not even created.

Michael: We could- Well, we are
creating it when we do that.

Audree: I know.

Michael: That's the whole secret to life.

Audree: The universe.

Michael: And everything

And it's not like we're
trying to change our identity.

That's not what it is.

It's, it's about seeing the allegiance.

This is what was the, the unlock
was seeing the allegiance to all

the stories, all the past, because
that allegiance is the identity.

It's not like the identity's separate.

It's the allegiance to all of
those stories is the identity.

It's not like we're trying
to, oh, I gotta change my

identity, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about seeing

the allegiance to all the past
challenges and suffering and

the story we have around it.

Maybe this is what the thing
is, it's the story we have

around it that it was all bad

And it was all problematic
and it was all painful

And understanding that while that
perspective is certainly a, a perspective

that exists, there's another greater
perspective which is seeing the

perfection in it all, of how all of
that was a gateway to move us forward

Audree: Right?

They s-- You know, there's this,
this saying, "Your greatest

gifts to bring to the world come
from your pain and suffering."

Michael: So I guess ultimately this
is the ultimate identity confusion.

It's, we think we're, uh, I feel like
I'm s-sounding a bit like John Mark

Stroud here, but we think we're a limited
body-mind and understanding everything

that's happening to us from an egoic
consciousness in perspective of limitation

and lack, and this is all suffering and
bad, to understanding our identity as

source consciousness, as never born,
never died, just in pure awareness that,

oh, wait a second, all of this needed
to happen for this journey to unfold

And that there's a perfection in it.

And it's not a, like a, the egoic
mind can never understand this.

It's, it's this, this development of
a stability of awareness outside of

the egoic consciousness, independent
of the egoic consciousness that when

it's stabilized long enough, when
there's been enough purification

that this, this awareness can lock in

Well, I guess we're not
even in the lock-in phase.

We're just in the rising and, you
know, who knows, you know, what the

next hours and days will be like?

Audree: Well, step one is awareness

Michael: Step two, awareness.

Step three, awareness

Audree: Right.

And when you have the awareness, you might
have that feeling deep inside your body

And you just breathe into it
and let it allow it to be there

Michael: Oh, you know what I'm getting?

Is like this, we talk about self-mastery,
self-mastery and understanding the

mechanics of creation, and also this
business of refining our awareness,

refining our awareness, refining our
awareness, refining our awareness.

And they're connected 'cause
we're refining our awareness of

the mechanics

of creation.

We're refining our awareness to more
and more, let's say, less gross, but

more and more subtle aspects of creation

To the point where we're seeing the
mechanics of creation at such a deep level

that it allows the undoing

It allows the undoing of the very root

Audree: Oh, you know why we're doing this?

We're getting ready to, to create
the new transformational audio,

the Red Arrows at ourselves

We're currently- Is that part

Michael: of the energy take
back one or is that different?

Audree: Mm-hmm.

So we're currently in a teaching a level
two foundations course, so that part

of it is teach a course, take a course.

Michael: Always.

Audree: And so we did this process
with our students last Friday.

Today is Friday.

The time is going by really fast.

And really

Michael: slow at the same time.

Audree: It's weird.

Um- It's

Michael: Friday, Friday
again, how did that happen?

Yeah.

And it's like, and like yesterday
seems like four months ago.

Audree: Yeah.

Michael: All at the same time.

Audree: So that's the process
we're gonna do with them today.

Michael: So we did version
one of the energy take back.

You're gonna do version two with them?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Very good.

Yeah,

Audree: red arrows.

How we're, how we're-

Michael: Okay

… Audree: damaging ourselves.

Well,

Michael: I'm out this morning
doing the errands, so y- you

have time to do the scripts.

Audree: Yeah

Michael: Do you feel
energized around that?

Audree: It's amazing how
perfect life is, isn't it?

I feel like sharing this
story, so I'm going to.

So when I was pregnant with
my daughter, my first child

I, um, there was a bunch of stuff
going on where I was high risk

in my pregnancy very early on.

And

About, I was starting to go into my
fourth trimes- I mean, my, the fourth

month, which would be my second trimester.

The placenta started tearing off the
wall of my uterus, and I was m- like

mandatory bedridden, like I, 'cause
I was, I was, it was causing bleeding

and I could lose the, the child.

So I was going to Brennan School
of Healing at the time, and,

um, and so I went to my friend
Franny, who's an amazing healer.

And you know, I was like, "I kn-
I, you know, I wanna work on this

energetically," 'cause I know
energetically is the thing that's gonna

heal, heal me so I can keep the baby.

And, um, she brought me back.

You know, she was doing energy work but
also, you know, had me, had me just go in

and feel what, what's there, what's there.

And I had this sudden vision of myself
as a baby, like I was in my baby

body, in the nursery of the hospital.

And I opened my eyes and I looked and
in the window, the viewing window into

the nursery, was my biological mother,
and she was leaving the hospital

and she was saying goodbye to me for
the last, you know, the last time

And in my head, I was like s-
I was smiling and I was saying,

"Everything's gonna be okay."

And she, at the same time, she's
telling me, you know, um, "I'm, I,

I know that you need to be born,
and I know you're gonna be okay."

And I'm telling her,
"Yes, I'm gonna be okay.

Don't worry about me.

Everything's gonna be fine."

And I'm smiling at her

And so

50 something years later I
meet my biological family

And my sister, I meet my sister.

And my, my mother, my biological
mother went to the hospital, had

me, and to- and came back home and
told everybody that I died at birth.

She didn't tell anybody that she
gave me up for adoption until 2011.

And in 2011, it was a couple
weeks before she was about to die.

She was living in, with my, my s- sister.

My sister was taking care of
her 'cause she was a nurse

And she said, you know, she had a
full confession to my sister that I

didn't die at birth, that she gave
me up for adoption, go find her.

And then I guess my sister asked, like,
questions, and my mother told my sister

this story that before she left the
hospital, she went to the nursery to

see me for the last time, and I opened
my eyes and I smiled at her, and that's

how she knew that I was gonna be okay

I don't know why I'm telling that
story but I feel like it's important

It's like I, I know she had to give me up.

It was the right thing to do.

Mm.

It's, it's because she loved me

Michael: Hmm.

You know, I'm…

Sorry.

Audree: Go ahead.

It's okay.

I was just thinking.

But I believed the lies of m- my,
the family that adopted me, that

there was something wrong with my
family, that I should be ashamed.

Mm-hmm.

That I was unworthy

That I was less than Mm.

You know?

Michael: Well, what I'm getting out of
this moment, so I don't know if it's

why you told the story or not, but
what I'm getting out of it is I, you

know, I think I l-look at my whole life
how, you know, I wanted to change my

circumstances and, you know, manifest or
create a different reality or change my

reality or change my experience of life

And I'm looking at what's in front
of me and what do I need to do,

and, and what I'm just getting
right now is, well, wait a second

I'm in this place.

Let's say I'm-- Let's say, you
know, I mean, this is actually

the truth of where you are.

You are in, you know, if we look
at the, the Matrix, um, the, the

construct, this, this pure white room
where you can create anything you want

That's where you are right now.

That's where everyone is right now.

But what happens is because we
have so much allegiance to all the

pain and suffering of all the past,
that's what we pollute the whole

white construct with immediately.

And then we try to find a little
space where we say, "No, but I wanna

create this other thing over here."

But the thing is, we've already filled
it with our allegiance to all the pain,

all the suffering, all the identification
with that whole storyline, and that's

what we're populating the construct with
that's creating our reality right now

and then we're trying to,
trying to do something about it

actively without addressing it.

So what I'm saying and what
I'm getting here right now is,

is looking at the mechanics of
creation at a very deep level.

There is nothing else other than to let
go of the past to create your future.

It's kind of like this.

It's like you're pulling a

You're trying to move forward when you're
being held back by your past, which is

like this, you know, 2,000 ton brick.

And you're saying, "Well,
I wanna create my…

I wanna move forward.

I wanna create a new future.

I wanna get to somewhere different."

And it's like, well, you know, not,
not with that, with that, with that

load, you're not going anywhere.

Audree: Not with that attitude, honey.

Yeah.

Michael: And so this business of,
of clearing the triangles, of, of,

of letting go of the things coming
into awareness of what and who we are

I, I guess it's, you know, you know,
we, I, I don't think I've ever talked

about this so much, but is it coming to
awareness of what and who you are not?

is really what the journey's about.

Oh, there's all this stuff that
I think that I am that I am not.

Audree: That's when I had that
realization between Princess

Catherine and Meghan Markle.

Mm-hmm.

And it's just like Princess
Catherine just she's a princess.

I'm a princess.

I'm, you know, she's just very
comfortable in who and what she is-

Mm-hmm … and the family that she's,
lives with, and i- in service to the

monarchy, and she's totally fine with it.

And Meghan Markle's like,
"I'm not fine with it.

I gotta, I have to leave, and this
place sucks, and I live in a palace."

And, like, you know, I mean- I'm

Michael: oppressed.

Audree: I'm oppressed

Right.

It's like we, we, we fuck it
up for ourselves when we have

the, the negative perspective

Instead of changing the situation
around by changing our thoughts about it

Michael: It's not about when we
have the negative perspective.

It's all the negative perspectives that
we have that are deeply held in our being

that we're not paying attention to- Yeah

that are there.

Audree: There you go

Right, and blaming it, it's
the person out there And

projecting it outside, yeah Yeah.

They're doing this to me.

It's like, n- n- no I'm being oppressed,
I'm being oppressed Well, I didn't

do it for you The world hates me.

No, no, no,

Michael: no, no.

We're oppressing ourselves.

We hate ourselves.

Audree: Yeah.

We're just not … We're
refusing to see it

Michael: Or don't have the tools to

Audree: see it

Michael: Right?

Yeah.

A lot going on right now.

I feel like all of the mechanics
of creation- It's really

beautiful … might be reorganizing

Audree: It's so beautiful when you,
when you see it from the other side

Michael: You know, uh,

Audree: And even when the love
is coming at you, you refuse it

because you wanna perpetuate the
identity and the story over here.

Of course.

Yeah.

So you have to refuse all the
good that's coming to you.

Mm-hmm.

'Cause it will change the story.

It will change the story

And you've got your allegiance
pledged over here to this story

Michael: Mm-hmm

Audree: So you cannot
let this other story in.

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, I can feel that.

Mm-hmm

Right.

We're so busy with our allegiance to being
limited, you know, we can't even open up

the possibility, you know, what if it's
true that we are source consciousness

incarnated in the material plane?

Audree: Right

Michael: And how do you do that?

Audree: Just sitting with that
in your being for one moment

The rightness of it

It's like the great I am

I am that or I am that

Michael: Right.

It, well, I was thinking like, well, you
know, there's that Well, which am am I?

And then, and then there's
the I am not, right?

Audree: Yeah.

But we spend all the time in the I
am not- Yeah … instead of the I am.

I am that I am

Infinite Ascended Master, I Am

It.

I am it.

Infinite ascended master in training.

I remember when I got that.

Right.

I was like, "Wha."

That was my whole entire vision
quest- Mm-hmm … in Death Valley.

That was

Okay, and that was in 2011.

Why am I still here?

Like, well, that was the training
program that they told me I was in.

That's why when I read my journals
that I had for 20 years, I burned them.

All the channeling, all the stuff,
because I realized I was told that

in 1990, and here it was 2015, and I
was still processing the same shit.

So I just took all my journals and
I just burned them because I was

just like, "This is ridiculous."

It's just I'm cycling through the same
thing over and over and over again.

Michael: Hmm.

Well, that's what self-mastery is

It's not a cycle, it's
an upward spiral Mm-hmm.

But when we think it's a cycle, then
we don't understand what's actually

happening, and we don't value it.

Audree: Right.

Michael: I'll say that again.

If you think you're looping
through the same thing, you're not.

You're actually going in an upward spiral.

And that when you actually look
at it carefully, it's not the

same situation, it's not the same
awareness, not the same pain.

It's a, it's a different, more
refined level of awareness

greater levels of impact and
cascading shifts in your being

It's only the sabotage
that says it will never end

Audree: Mm-hmm.

Or the perception that it's the
same old shit over and over again

Michael: You know, every, you know, the
voice saying, "Oh, I'll never finish this.

I'll never make the journey.

I can't do it because of this," is
the ego consciousness saying, uh,

you know, s- saying, "Okay, I win.

We're not going on the journey.

Woo-hoo.

Gotcha."

And then eventually, you
know, something will happen.

Okay, anything more before we close?

Audree: No.

Michael: Okay, let's take three minutes.

Audree: All right.

Michael: Thank you for joining us

Let's be evolutionary